For growing us

Each of us was born and grow up by the laws of nature that no one can resist. In such a long and arduous journey, there must be many times we certainly face some traumas from this life. Perhaps they are falls, scars by carelessness, or the words and actions of others that immerse us in the despair about ourselves. On the path to becoming a true adult, we are continuously looking for solutions and answers for past traumas; but unintentionally, we hurt others. Others here are not strangers, they can be our families, friends, lovers, colleagues… And thus, the injuries have not been healed, but increasingly spread out. This makes the growing-up journey more and more difficult. But anyway, you still have to grow up and find the right answer for your own life.

I have heard a quote like this “Strength of a person is shaped in his own weakness". I don’t know what you think, but to me, growing up is a “thorn”. Why? I will tell you stories that you may have been the protagonists of:

• You saw a dog growling, your mother tells you to stay away from it and draw scary scenes. So, you are afraid of dogs 🙂
• You asked to study an art subject that you like, but your family objected. And then your family praises another child with that talent.
• The neighbor kid dropped in and took or broke an item that you like so much. And adults say it was okay.
• Parents often say that you are lazy to exercise. But every time go out of the house for a little bit long, sure to hear their complaints.
• You absolutely don’t like that boring math, but you must learn because 3 generations of your family are excellent doctors.
• You are bullied by older children, but can’t tell anyone. Not because you don’t want to say it, but because you know that you’ll receive apologies at the most. You are too gentle!
• Everyone expects you to pass that exam, but your result is not as expected even though you try your best. And people think that you have not tried enough although your learning conditions are far behind those who luckily pass.

The harsh truth is that there is no way to grow in sweetness. Growth is a path full of roses, but every rose has its thorns, the thorn is small but can tear all the courage in you, enough to make you fall, make you extremely disappointed. But you have to stand up and move on your own feet, heal the scratches printed for years in the depths of your soul. Only having passed by yourself, you can feel the beauty and sweet scent on each red rose petal, which is also what build up you at the present. The red color of flowers is your own sweat, tears and blood. It is the most practical evidence for the efforts you made to stand here today.

Do you know? One of the things that makes people more mature is a broken love. Even if today you cry your eyes out for someone who doesn’t love you, the next day you still have to have a bright smile to welcome the sunrise. Because maturity is when you learn to love yourself. For a caterpillar, becoming a butterfly means going through extremely painful cocoons and molting. But after all, the used-to-be-ugly caterpillar has become a beautiful butterfly with all patterns on the wings. Can you see, in order to grow up, humans as well as caterpillar have to suffer pain and hurt to find a way to heal themselves.

The fine line between children and adults is maturity. You can choose to be a child because children only have to eat, play, study and sleep. Adults are a somewhat better version than children because they have been battered many times, and after each fall, they stand up and move on, try to reach their goal on the chosen path. So adults may have a stronger mind, be able to make their own dreams come true - something that children cannot.

Although growing up means suffering, if not experiencing, an adult is just a child in an ageing body - an incomplete adult. Perhaps because maturity is a thorn that everyone gets at least one stab. But when you are young, any wound will be easier to heal, enthusiasm of life is brimful so you can stand up and go straight, youth is the brightest, wildest, most beautiful fire. It can be extinguished many times, but after each suppression it will flare up stronger.

We all know that traumas belong to individuals, but we can spread from person to person. For example, today your boss is unhappy because he just broke up with his girlfriend, and later unreasonable scolded you, although your report is very good. Then, you go home, because of that little frustration, you take it out on your family. In the end, your happiness cracked again. Do you see? Trauma though is not a serious infectious disease like COVID-2019, it also spreads very quickly and the consequences are also not so mild. Therefore, my buddies, if you are experiencing such situations, please have the most generous and sympathetic heart to understand and forgive them, don’t let yourself become a source of infection to others, it only makes you more deeply vulnerable.

The Creator always gives people the good things, please keep that in mind. But before you have those beautiful things, you absolutely must overcome the difficult frontier, that is growing up. And only when going through that difficult period, you can rediscover your true self, get answers to the questions that need answers in you. Hopefully, with all the available gentleness and honesty, you can face all ahead challenges, find the truth for your life and live by the person within you.